


Choosing Sides

by madamehomesecretary



Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Show Continuation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:49:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21809815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamehomesecretary/pseuds/madamehomesecretary
Summary: “We came up with a plan to put you in a safehouse in an undisclosed location. You’ll have around the clock protection, though your identity will be hidden. You’ll stay there until we can pinpoint the threat and make sure it no longer exists.”Julia wakes up after the blast at St. Matthew's and finds out plans have already been put in place to protect her. How will she feel when she doesn't get a say in the matter?Part of the LavenderBudd Fic Exchange.
Relationships: David Budd/Julia Montague
Comments: 17
Kudos: 100
Collections: LavenderBudd Fic Exchange





	1. His Favorite Ma'am

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bexinthecity247](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bexinthecity247/gifts).



> The wishlist for this fic was angst with a happy/resolved ending, jealous, and continuation of scenes in the show. I think you'll be able to cross off all three by the time the second chapter is posted. 
> 
> It doesn't take place at Christmas, but rather around the timeline of the show, with the blast happening in November. The idea came from a rather angsty dialogue prompt on Tumblr, and I've really enjoyed writing it. I hope you do, too!

Everything was fuzzy. Fuzzy and numb.

And loud. It felt like her eyelids weighed a stone each as she struggled to open her them. . 

She could hear what sounded like a radio -- no, a TV -- playing from somewhere in the room and she strained to hear the words. 

What was wrong with her? 

With one final push of Herculean effort, her eyes popped open and quickly closed again against the invasion of the harsh light. Between the fluorescent lighting and the rare November sunlight streaming through the window, it was almost too much for her as her overly sensitive eyes began to water.

She was more cautious the second time as her eyes slid open, trying to take in the room. She blinked a few times, forcing them to adjust to the change in light. The smell of antiseptic filled her nostrils and as she began to piece it all together, she realized she must be in the hospital. 

She struggled to sit up when she saw a blurry figure with their back turned to her, watching a news story on the telly. She blinked a few times to try to clear her vision. Everything was still fuzzy, but she couldn’t help the little smile that came over her face. She should have known he would be right there by her side. 

“David?” It was barely more than a whisper, her voice hoarse and her throat dry from lack of use. She grimaced and sucked in a breath as she tried to shift in the bed, pain coursing up her right side.

The figure turned at the noise and Julia’s momentary happiness instantly plummeted. 

Anne Sampson.

Julia paled, looking past Anne to the headline playing across the television screen. It took a minute for the words to make sense and she stared at the screen in confusion as it all came together. 

**Home Secretary critically injured in St. Matthew’s Blast**

Julia frowned. Why couldn’t she remember? 

And then the pieces started falling into place. Her speech. The explosion. David running toward her being the last thing she saw before she was struck by a searing heat and all-encompassing pain on her right side as the force of the blast pushed her to the floor. David speaking lowly to her as he cradled her body against his own in the aftermath. Him watching over her as he waited for help to arrive. Protecting her. 

She had woken up briefly in the ambulance with a flurry of activity around her and a stabbing pain in her hip. She wanted to protest. To tell the people working on her to leave her alone. But as she looked over, she saw him there, holding her hand. Breathing a sigh of relief, she murmured his name before she slipped under again, feeling his palm warm in hers. 

Where was David now? 

Anne finally met Julia’s gaze, the redhead tilting her head slightly. 

“Home Secretary, nice of you to join us,” she said, her tone sickeningly sweet. Julia resisted the urge to scoff. 

“What’s … going on?” she asked. “Where is Dav --" She caught herself. "Where is Sergeant Budd?” she asked, coughing. Her words were jumbled and her throat felt like parchment paper. 

Before Anne could reply, the door opened. Julia turned her head too sharply and winced as pain in her temple made her regret the sudden movement. She closed her eyes again, trying to take a deep, calming breath. 

“Julia?” 

His strong Scottish accent made her eyes pop open again without hesitation. Her green eyes met his blue ones from across the room and she felt herself breathe easier for the first time since waking up. 

“Hello, Sargeant,” she whispered softly, clearing her throat a little with the effort. 

She genuinely smiled for the first time then as David moved closer to her bed, leaving two coffee cups on a table by the door. His gaze checked her over carefully, moving slowly from her head and the bandage there, down her bruised face until he couldn’t see her body where it disappeared under the quilt. 

“I was gone for 10 minutes,” he said, shaking his head. Julia thought she might have seen a glimpse of tears in his eyes as he looked her over. “Of course you woke up.” 

She couldn’t help but chuckle at his teasing, but stopped abruptly when she felt a tightening in her chest. She briefly closed her eyes again, and opened them to find him still staring at her. His eyes never leaving hers as he pulled a stool up to her bedside. 

“I’ve been by your side for 2 days, waiting for you to wake up,” he explained, bringing her palm gently to cup his face. “And I go for coffee and you wake up… Typical.” 

It was his turn to chuckle now. Julia glanced at the palm he held against his cheek and her eyes flitted to Anne, who was watching them curiously.

“David…” Julia said lowly, starting to pull her hand away before she realized David wasn’t letting her go. 

“No, it’s okay,” David reassured her, looking up at Anne before turning his attention back to Julia. Getting to his feet, he leaned over the railing of the bed and kissed her on the temple. 

“She knows.” 

Julia’s eyes widened, looking at Anne suspiciously. This was the last thing she had expected. 

“She knows ... and she isn’t happy, either,” Anne said dryly, rolling her eyes as she moved to look out the window. 

“Well, that’s none of your business, is it, Anne?” Julia couldn’t stop the bitterness that seeped into her voice at the woman’s attitude. Her relationship with Anne had always been tumultuous at best. She had a feeling this wasn’t going to help. 

She turned her attention back to David. “You told her?” 

David glanced between Anne and Julia, strongly resisting the urge to chuckle at Julia’s evident ire. She may have almost died. But after everything that had happened, she was still Julia. 

His gaze settled on Anne. 

“Can you give us a minute, ma’am?” He asked and Anne sighed, her gaze flitting between the two of them suspiciously. Letting out a huff of annoyance, Anne started wordlessly for the door, her contempt for David’s request quite obvious. 

As the door closed behind the redhead, Julia looked up at him, her eyes narrowed. 

“Not sure how I feel about you calling other women ma’am,” she teased, her serious face breaking into a wide smile. 

David laughed loudly then.

“You’re my favorite ma’am …. ma’am,” he teased in reply with a mock salute before growing serious. 

“How’re you feeling, love? We should really get a doctor,” he said quickly, as if the idea had just come to him. The pet name slipped from his lips before he could stop it and he found himself surprised by it. If Julia noticed anything amiss, she was silent. He started for the door and Julia stopped him as her hand brushed against his. 

“My throat feels so dry ... like I’ve been in the Sahara Desert,” she told him, coughing and motioning weakly to a pitcher of water at her bedside table. David moved quickly to pour some into a cup, and lifted the straw to her lips. She took a few small sips and gave him a little smile. 

“Better?” He asked, his eyes trained carefully on her face for any sort of tell-tale sign of pain. He found himself thinking about how well he could see through the brave facade she put on for everyone else but him. If you would have told him when he started this job … well, there were a lot of things you could have told him that he would have laughed about then. 

Julia nodded silently, shifting slightly in her bed and grimacing from the discomfort. 

“I’m going to go get a doctor now, have you checked out,” he told her, leaning over and kissing her lightly on the lips, his fingers ghosting gently across her cheek. She smiled at the feel of his lips against hers and returned the kiss gently. 

“You told Anne about us?” She asked unsurely, as they broke the kiss, and she ran a hand slowly through her flattened hair. A sign of nerves David had learned early on. He pulled away to look at her, suddenly feeling very uncertain. 

“I … didn’t mean to,” he admitted. “After the explosion, I couldn’t hold it together. They wouldn’t let me in to see you. And I was just so worried … it was written all over my face. I couldn’t hide my feelings for you.” 

_ “Sargeant, stand down,” a stern voice called from behind him, and David turned, coming face to face with Anne Sampson.  _

_ David had spent the better part of 10 minutes arguing with the guard stationed outside Julia’s hospital room that he should be admitted to see her. She had been out of surgery for almost an hour, but because his name wasn’t on some bloody list, he wasn’t allowed in.  _

_ “Ma’am,” he said lowly, taking a step toward Anne and away from the guard. “I’m just trying to see her. I need to see with my own eyes that she’s alright.” _

_ Anne watched the man in front of her curiously for a long moment.  _

_ “They’ve checked the Home Secretary’s records. You aren’t listed as a contact, David,” Anne said, trying to be as gentle as she could. “You’re her PPO. You stayed with her until she was safe. Your job is done. Go home. Get some rest.” _

_ She watched the way David’s brow furrowed together as if he was thinking very hard about something.  _

_ David felt his frustration growing and tried to keep his anger in check. He needed to see Julia. And he would do whatever it took to make that happen.  _

_ “What is it, Sargeant?” She finally asked.  _

_ He took another step, then two toward Anne, lowering his voice.  _

_ “I … uh… I’m not  _ just _ her PPO, ma’am,” he said quietly, looking around the room to make sure they couldn’t be overheard.  _

_ It was Anne’s turn to look confused as she stared at David’s face. In addition to a couple of bruises and scrapes, there was a gash on his left cheek that she could tell needed to be treated. Coming back to their conversation, Anne arched a brow curiously.  _

_ “Excuse me?” She asked, staring David down. “What does that mean?” _

_ David ran a hand across the back of his neck, looking down at the floor.  _

_ “For the past several weeks … Julia -- the Home Secretary and I …” he hesitated, trying to figure out the best way to explain the situation.  _

_ “Out with it, David!” Anne said crossly, her arms folded across her chest.  _

_ “Julia and I were involved … in … a relationship,” David finally said with a slight shrug of his shoulders. He figured that was the best way to put it when he didn’t even know what he and Julia really were.  _

_ Anne’s mouth opened and then closed again. She opened it once more trying to find the appropriate words, but nothing seemed to come out. It was all beginning to click into place. Why David wouldn’t share relevant information on the Home Secretary and her activities. Of course. He wasn’t going to sell out the woman he was sleeping with.  _

_ “That’s why I’ve got to get in there to see her,” David said, speaking again when Anne said nothing. “I need to see that she’s okay for myself. It was my job to protect her … and … I don’t know how this could have happened.”  _

_ He ran a hand over his face in frustration, and if the situation hadn’t been so precarious, Anne might have even felt a little bad for him.  _

_ “You realize there will be a full investigation into this,” Anne said matter-of-factly. “They’ll leave no stone unturned when it comes to the Home Secretary’s life. They’ll find out about you.”  _

_ “Aye, I know that,” David said nodded. “But we were careful. They won’t find anything.” _

_ A sudden realization dawned on Anne then.  _

_ “The adjoining room.”  _

_ A chuckle spilled from his lips before he could stop himself.  _

_ “Aye, you wanted me to get close to the Home Secretary,” he said shrugging. “And I did. Just … not in the way you wanted me to.”  _

_ “David!”  _

_ “Sorry, ma’am,” he said, growing serious. “Please, just get me in to see her. I’ll do whatever I need to do to make this right. I just … please.” _

_ Anne looked at the man in front of her for a moment and sighed.  _

_ “Go get yourself checked out and cleaned up,” she instructed. “Be back here in 30 minutes. I’ll have cleared your name with hospital security.” _

_ David breathed a sigh of relief, coming very close to hugging Anne, but he held back. He nodded quickly, looking at his watch.  _

_ “I’ll be back in 30 minutes. Right here,” he said eagerly, starting over to the nurses’ station.  _

_ “Ah, and David?” Anne called after him. David stopped and turned to look at her.  _

_ “Aye?”  _

_ “There is something else I’m going to need your help with when you get done.” _

_ “Alright,” David agreed before approaching a nurse at the desk and asking to be seen by a doctor.  _

“You did it so you could be here beside me,” Julia breathed, looking over the man in front of her, 

suddenly feeling very emotional. “I remember seeing you running toward me before everything went black,” she murmured, reaching out and touching his face tenderly, her fingertips grazing a cut on his cheek that had been stitched up. “You saved me.” 

“Don’t worry, Julia. I won’t let anything happen to you. I’m  _ so _ sorry. But you’re safe now,” David said, reaching his hand to touch the unscarred side of her face, the smooth skin warm under his fingertips. A stark contrast to how cold her skin had felt after she had been released from surgery. He had never been more grateful for the warmth of her body than he was now. Both of them were so lost in the other that they didn't hear the door open again as Anne re-entered the room. 

David grasped Julia’s hand in his, bringing her knuckles to his lips. 

“You had to have surgery to stop the bleeding. And they had to put some plates and screws in your hip, But you’re here. And you’re okay.”

“Actually, you’re dead,” Anne Sampson said flatly, speaking up from the doorway with interest as her eyes flitted curiously between the pair of them. 

“What did you say to me?” Julia asked, her voice stronger now as her eyes flashed dangerously at Anne. Not only was she angry that Anne had interrupted her moment with David, but she was truly angry she was there at all. 

“You’re dead,” she repeated, closing the door behind her. “At least you’re going to be, according to the news report that will air tonight.”

Julia looked from Anne to David and then back at Anne. 

“Stop gloating, Anne. Just say what you came here to say,” she said dryly. David looked between the women, suddenly feeling anxious about this whole idea. 

“There has been a plan … put in place,” Anne said, smirking as she crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. “You’ll be taken from the hospital and sent for treatment and rehabilitation in a location that has not been disclosed to me yet.” 

Julia’s eyes narrowed suspiciously as Anne continued. 

“Until we can catch the culprits responsible for the attack at St. Matthew’s, it is in your  _ best interest _ to be able to fly under the radar. Without anyone trying to find you. So, as far as the country is concerned … you’re dead, Home Secretary.”

“That seems convenient, doesn’t it?” Julia scoffed, still eying Anne curiously. “Are you sure this plan is in  _ my _ best interest? Or is it in  _ yours _ , Commander Sampson? I won’t do it.” 

Julia’s gaze turned to David, who seemed uncharacteristically quiet as he looked at the floor, avoiding her stare. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. 

“David?” She called softly, watching the guilt that crossed his face as she said his name and his gaze met hers. “Surely you can’t agree with this?” 

“He already has,” Anne interrupted. “It’s been cleared by your security team… well, cleared by P.S. Budd. Only a handful of people will know. You’ll leave tonight, before the announcement is made.” 

Julia was looking at David now, not sure if she should feel hurt or angry, or maybe a bit of both. Yes, it was definitely both. She didn’t know what to say, and was saved only by the entrance of her doctor coming into the room. 

When he asked Anne and David to step outside while he examined Julia, David looked to her, half expecting her to ask him to stay. When she didn’t, her eyes looking down at her hands in her lap and avoiding making eye contact, David swallowed hard, glancing back at her over his shoulder before he left the room. 

When the doctor emerged again a few minutes later, giving David the go ahead to enter Julia’s room again, he was grateful that Anne had gone to finalize plans for Julia’s departure. It made the most sense to keep her relocation quiet. To make sure everything went as smoothly as possible, they could only include a handful of people, at most. David, Anne and Frances Montague. That was it. 

At one point in the quickly thrown together planning process, Anne suggested they let the Prime Minister in on the situation. To apprise him of the staged death of Julia Montague. But David had been quick to protest, reminding her that they still weren’t sure who they could trust. Anne seemed skeptical at first, but finally agreed. So a triangle of protection for Julia had been formed. 

David had been running over the words in his head, trying to figure out how to make her see that what he was doing truly was in her best interest. But he had a feeling that no matter what he said, Julia was still going to be very angry with him. 

He hesitated outside the door for only a moment, taking a deep breath before he entered the room again. Julia was propped up in bed, staring blankly at the television and some news report that was muted. David wasn’t sure he had ever seen her watch TV before. 

She turned to look at him, her eyes flashing before she turned back to the TV wordlessly, her arms crossed over her chest. The silence hung heavy in the air between them and David shifted his weight, still standing by the door. 

“What did the doctor say?” He finally asked when the silence became too much and Julia whipped around to look at him incredulously. 

“You have some nerve... coming back in here after what you just pulled on me, you know, ” she said tersely before she turned back to the TV. 

David ran his hand over his face. 

“Julia, I can explain…” he said gently, stepping closer to the bed. He wasn’t sure if he was imagining things, but he thought he felt the energy in the room shift as she turned to look at him slowly, her eyes softening slightly. 

“I think you’d better,” she said dryly, watching him move to sit next to the bed where he had been grasping her hand in his only moments before. Her anger had given away to sadness and fear, and she found herself pushing away thoughts of what might have happened if things had been different. How she might not be here at all. 

“I will, I promise,” he told her, resisting the urge to take her hand again. “But first, what did the doctor say?” He repeated his question from earlier, hoping for a different outcome now that she had visibly softened. 

“Are you asking as my PPO?” Julia asked, smugly. “Or … as something  _ different _ ?” 

“Julia…” David warned.

Julia sighed in response. 

“He said that I seem to be healing well, but he wants me up and walking as soon as possible. To help my hip heal from the surgery.” She offered flatly, looking down at her hands. “I have some burns and bruises from the blast … but the bruises will fade in time.” 

She met David’s eyes again. 

“It seems as if we both have scars now,” she whispered, feeling the sting of tears prickling at her eyes. David had a feeling she was talking about more than just the physical marks on their bodies. 

“Well, I’m just relieved that you're okay,” he finally said, watching her carefully. 

“Are you?” The angry words slipped from her lips before she could stop them. “Tell me about the plan,” she said quickly, wanting to move past her obvious anger that had flared up again. 

“I, uh, sure…” David began, clenching his jaw at her obvious disdain that had returned. “Well, after the bombing, Anne and her team --”

Julia scoffed. 

“Anne,” she murmured under her breath, annoyed at David’s use of the commander’s first name. 

“Commander Sampson and her team began looking for who could have provided the bomb that was detonated,” he continued, ignoring Julia’s remark. “They’re looking into ties between organized crime and a terrorist plot being carried out, but they haven’t found the link yet.” 

“Commander Sampson thinks it would be a good idea for you to go into hiding until we catch whoever did this,” David explained. “To put it out there that you survived only endangers your life and means the bomber will likely try again. We can’t take that risk. For your safety. And for the safety of the country. So we came up with a plan --” 

“You and Anne,” Julia said, “working together?” She frowned. This was only getting worse. 

“We came up with a plan to put you in a safehouse in an undisclosed location,” David continued. “You’ll have around the clock protection, though your identity will be hidden. You’ll stay there until we can pinpoint the threat and make sure it no longer exists.”

“You’re not going with me?” Julia paled. “I assumed because of security…” She frowned. 

“Anne thinks it’s better if I stay here to work with them on the case,” he explained, getting to his feet. He couldn’t handle the way she was looking at him and how guilty he felt for springing this on her like this. He had hoped to at least have some time with her first. 

“My face is too well-known at this point. I’m a security risk for you.”

“I’m sure it doesn’t hurt that she wants you here with her either, does it?” Julia snapped. David turned to look at her in surprise. He could have sworn that in that moment, his … girlfriend -- was she his girlfriend? -- suddenly seemed very jealous about him spending time with Anne Sampson. He knew better than to say anything about it to her, though. He wasn’t stupid. 

“Julia, it’s not like that,” he said approaching her bed again. 

“I can’t believe you’re taking  _ her _ side on this,” Julia said curtly, looking away from him as he reached for her hand and she pulled away. 

“This isn’t about sides,” he protested.

“Unbelievable,” she said under her breath, huffing lowly. 

“You could have  _ died! _ ” David yelled. He was on his feet again, his fist clenched tightly, his thumb digging into his palm as he paced the room. Why couldn’t she see that he was doing this for her? In the aftermath of his shouting, the silence between them seemed deafening as Julia looked up at him, her eyes wide. David took a step closer, returning to her bedside and clutching Julia’s hand tightly, not giving her the option to yank it away this time. 

“You could have died,” he repeated. It was softer this time as his voice broke. “I nearly lost you. I will work with  _ whoever _ I have to to keep you safe. If you really want to make this about sides ... I’m on whatever side keeps you alive. Can’t you see that?”

David thought he felt the faintest squeeze of his hand before Julia released her fingers from his grasp. 

“I … think you should go…” she said, trying to fight back the tears that wanted to fall so easily. 

David’s brow furrowed. 

“Go?” He repeated in surprise. “I was going to stay until…” he began, his offer falling flat to his own ears as Julia glanced out the window again, placing her hand over her lips. He thought he might have seen her fingers tremble slightly. 

“Goodbye, David,” her eyes met his again, and he briefly found himself wondering just how final that goodbye actually was. He frowned as he got to his feet. 

He wasn’t going to stay where he wasn’t wanted. 

“Alright then. Goodbye, Julia,” he murmured. Leaning over the bed, he couldn’t help himself as he pressed a quick kiss to her lips before turning and walking out of the room. 

He didn’t allow himself to look back as he left the hospital, never seeing Julia bury her face in her pillow to hide the tears that had begun to flow at his departure.  Of course she wanted him here with her. But more than that, she wanted ... no, she needed to keep him safe. 


	2. A Fear of Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s over, Julia,” he said quickly, crossing the room to stand in front of her. “Luke Aikens … Nadia Ali … Lorraine Craddock… they’re all behind bars for the part they played in the bombing at St. Matthew’s. They’ve got them.” 
> 
> Julia blinked back tears she could feel gathering at the corners of her eyes. “It’s over?” She repeated, a sense of relief washing over her as her hand came to cover her mouth. 
> 
> *****
> 
> David finds Julia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to establish a timeline, Julia has been in Aix en Provence in France for three months with no contact from David. Aix is known for this lavender fields, which seemed too ironic to ignore. 
> 
> Without further ado, Chapter 2! I hope you guys enjoyed it. I have enjoyed writing this story and exploring prompts I might not usually go for. Thank you for all the comments and kudos. They mean more to me than you know.
> 
> I hope every one has a very merry Christmas and a happy new year!

A brunette woman hurried along Cours Mirabeau, pulling her black headscarf tighter around her face. It was a cold day in Aix En Provence, the home she had been living in for the last three months. 

It had rained the day before, leaving the streets wet with very few people venturing out from their homes on the dreary wet Thursday. The sun had been trying to peek out from behind the clouds all day, though it had yet to be successful. 

Julia cursed under her breath as she shivered in her burgundy trench coat, clutching her parcels tightly in her grasp. A late afternoon run to Maison Bechard, the pâtisserie down the street from her home, had seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, she was ready to head back to her apartment in Quartier Mazarin and settle down by the fire with a good book. The list of books she had read between what seemed like never ending physical therapy appointments was growing quite long. She had never had the chance (or the free time) to read when she was Britain’s Home Secretary. The thought was bittersweet.

She glanced briefly over her shoulder to the man following her at a discreet distance, where he was pretending to be looking down at his phone as he walked. 

Thomas was a professional. In every sense of the word. Curt. To the point. There were no extra exchanges outside of her security protocol and procedures. Really, she knew very little about the man tasked with protecting her life. It was a much needed break after things had ended so messily with David. Yet, she found herself thinking of her former PPO often. How disappointed he had looked as she asked him to leave her hospital room. He had no way of knowing then that all she wanted was for him to stay. She dreamed of him joining her in Aix and of starting a life together there where no one knew them. Where their relationship wouldn’t make splashes on all the newspapers and gossip rags all over the city. Honestly though, she would even take returning to London, opening herself up to the scrutiny and harsh criticism of the press for having an affair with her still-married bodyguard, if it meant they could be together again.

She wondered if those dreams were even possible anymore. If he would still want her. Or after the news broadcast in the park … if he had returned to his wife. She had seen the way Vicky looked at him as they walked the streets of London together, television crews focused on them the whole way. She still loved him. And frankly, Julia couldn’t blame her. He was the father of her children. Her husband. Julia wasn’t entitled to him. Just the thought of it made her heart ache. 

Crossing over the footbridge to her building, she was still lost in thought when she heard Thomas’ quick instructions to stop where she was. Looking around in confusion, it was then that she saw a lone man standing in front of her building, his hands shoved in his pockets as he waited, looking down at his feet. His back was to her, but she knew the figure straight away. 

David.

It was as if she had conjured him right there in Aix from her thoughts alone.

She stopped, watching curiously as Thomas pushed past her and approached David to speak to him. It was like time stood still as he turned to look over his shoulder at her as their eyes met from across the square. Just seeing him standing there and looking at her made it difficult for her to breathe. 

David turned his attention back to the man only briefly, explaining who he was and flashing him his badge as he turned to look at Julia again. The corners of his lips edged up into a soft smile and Julia let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding as she clutched her bag from the bakery closer to her chest.

Her eyes flitted over to Thomas, where he gave her a slight nod that indicated it was safe for her to approach the “intruder.” She felt as if her feet were moving of their own volition as she moved toward where David stood. When they finally came face to face, Julia chewed her bottom lip nervously, running her free hand through her hair. 

“Hello, you,” she finally said, watching as he took in every inch of her face and his gaze slid down her body. She shivered again, though she didn’t think it was from the cold this time. 

“Ma’am,” he said politely, his smile widening as blue met green again for the first time in too many months. 

Julia laughed then. Short and unexpected. She could see her breath hanging in the cold air.

“Sorry to interrupt, ma’am, but we should get you and Mr. Budd inside,” Thomas said lowly, looking around. Julia followed his gaze briefly and nodded as her PPO spoke lowly into his radio. 

“Thank you, Thomas.” She turned her attention back to David. “Come with me,” she said softly, the corner of her lip tugging into a shy smile as she led him into the empty building that housed a number of apartments, hers included. It had been cleared of all other residents when she arrived in Aix, leaving Julia to her own solitude in the months that had passed. 

David and Julia stood by the door as Thomas did a quick sweep of the apartment. “I’ll be across the hall in my apartment if you need me, ma’am,” he told her with a quick nod. “Sir.” He added quickly, acknowledging David before turning and leaving Julia’s flat. 

With him gone, Julia seemed to suddenly be at a loss for words. She looked around the room as if she were seeing it for the first time with David. She sat her parcels on the table by the entry way as she shed her coat and scarf. Taking off her gloves, she looked over at David when he spoke. 

“He calls you ma’am,” David said flatly before breaking into a chuckle. Julia laughed, too, relishing the way her heart seemed to leap at the sound. 

“Yes, people do typically call women that, you know,” she teased. “It’s not just a David Budd special.” 

“You didn’t like it when I did,” he reminded her with a contagious smirk. She laughed lightly, enjoying hearing the sound again in her own ears before she grew serious again. She was quiet for a moment, looking behind where David stood, her eyes falling to the fireplace. She took a deep breath before she spoke again.

“I’m a bit surprised to see you here, David,” she admitted, her stomach knotting up with anxiety as she moved past him into the living room. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here … after how things ended with us in the hospital.”

Taking off his coat and hanging it next to hers in the hall, David followed her, watching as she leaned over at the mantle to start a fire as he took in the details of her home. It was sparsely decorated, but from what he could see, it looked like Julia. There was a pile of books on the coffee table and a cashmere throw blanket sitting on the edge of the sofa. There was an empty mug next to the stack of books and David couldn’t help but smile at the vision of her reading late into the night. He turned to look at her as she straightened again, a small fire beginning to crackle and glow behind her. 

She was moving more slowly than he was accustomed to, but he assumed her therapy must be going well, based on her movements. It was a relief to see that time really was healing her after all. But all accounts, she shouldn’t even be here based on the strength of the bomb that was detonated at St. Matthews. He still has nightmares about it to this day. 

“I wanted to be the one to tell you,” David finally said as he met her gaze and Julia’s brow furrowed. 

“Tell me what?” She asked in confusion. 

“It’s over, Julia,” he said quickly, crossing the room to stand in front of her. “Luke Aikens … Nadia Ali … Lorraine Craddock… they’re all behind bars for the part they played in the bombing at St. Matthew’s. They’ve got them.” 

Julia blinked back tears she could feel gathering at the corners of her eyes. “It’s over?” She repeated, a sense of relief washing over her as her hand came to cover her mouth. 

David nodded quickly. 

“They’ve all been charged,” he explained. “They can’t hurt you anymore.” 

David was standing in front of her now, and she threw her arms around his shoulders before she could stop herself. The movement was quick and unexpected as he felt her body pressed firmly against his. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, burying her face in his neck. She closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of his cologne. The smell she had lost herself in so many times in the weeks before her accident. The familiar scent reminded her of clandestine meetings in her hotel room and kissing him in basement bathrooms. It all seemed like a lifetime ago. But maybe not that long ago as she felt his arms wrap around her small frame and hold onto her like he never wanted to let go. Breaking free from her nostalgia, she lingered for a few minutes longer than necessary before she pulled away, his hands falling from her body. 

“Want a cuppa?” She asked, smiling as she retrieved the bag from Bechard off the table and continued into the kitchen.

“Aye,” he called out, watching her go. “I’ll take one.” 

Appearing again a few minutes later carrying a tray with mugs and plates of pastry, she motioned to the couch for them to sit with a slight nod of her head. Once they were sitting, she handed him a mug, her hand brushing slowly against his. She let it linger for a moment before pulling away. 

“I hope I remembered how you take your tea…” she said softly, though she knew she did. Taking a sip from her own mug, she watched him carefully. 

“You always did,” he reassured her, taking a long sip of tea and feeling it warm him slightly. He had been waiting for her for the better part of an hour outside of her apartment on one of Aix’s coldest days. He could still feel the cold in his bones.

A comfortable silence fell between them. 

“You look good, Julia,” he finally, his eyes meeting hers over the edge of his mug. Her hair had grown out some so it fell in loose waves that fell past her shoulders. Her face had regained the color she had lost in the hospital following her surgery, and that familiar mischief he loved so much had returned to her eyes. Yes, the time away had done her good. 

She couldn’t help the warm feeling that spread across her face at his compliment. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

Julia was thoughtful about her answer for a moment. 

“I have my good days and my bad days,” she admitted, changing the subject and placing her mug down on the table as she reached for a sweet. “You should try one of these,” she said, offering it to him, despite the fact she had placed two of the sweets on his own plate. “There’s an amazing pâtisserie down the street from here,” she explained. “I walk there sometimes when I need to get out of the apartment.” 

She looked down at the dessert she had come to love in her time in Aix as David’s hand reached out to touch hers. 

“It’s a marzipan,” she continued. She knew she was rambling, but couldn’t seem to stop herself as David’s fingers traced her palm slowly, his eyes trained on her. “Les Calissons, a specialty in Aix. It has melon and orange and almond --”

“Julia, I really don’t care what they’re made of,” David interrupted, watching as she looked up at him, her eyes wide and doe-like. 

“What do you care about?” she finally asked, her voice no more than a whisper. 

“You.” David’s answer was simple and he said it without hesitation as she stared at him, feeling her heart rate begin to speed up. 

Taking the treat from her hand, he placed it on his plate in front of him before turning his attention back to her palm where there were remnants of powdered sugar left over from the dessert. 

“I’ve been so worried about you…” She admitted, sounding a bit like Ella and Charlie when they admitted something they didn’t want to say. David couldn’t help but smile at the comparison. 

“I saw the news …,” Julia continued. “When I saw that bomb strapped to your chest in Pope Square, I couldn’t breathe. I kept waiting for something terrible to happen. For the police to come after you, for your finger to slip off the switch. I didn’t know how I could live with myself if the last time I saw you was in that hospital room as I made you leave.”

Julia was beginning to tear up now and David frowned. 

“I’m alright, love,” he whispered, scooting in closer to her. The name slipped from his lips just as it had months earlier in the hospital. But he liked the way it felt now. Natural. Like it was all he had ever called her. “I’m right here with you.” 

Julia took a deep breath, nodding, as she wiped at her eyes stubbornly with her free hand. David was still holding the other in his own, his thumb tracing her knuckle absentmindedly as he watched a myriad of emotions play across her face. 

“You know, it was  _ you _ who got me through that whole ordeal,” he told her with a soft smile and Julia’s brow furrowed. 

“Me?” Julia shook her head. “No, I saw Vicky there with you. I couldn’t have --” 

David laughed, mirroring her movement as he shook his head. 

“Vicky was great in the moment,” He admitted. “She really helped me keep my head. Literally and figuratively,” he added with a grin and Julia rolled her eyes. 

“David, that’s not funny,” she chided. 

“Aye. Sorry. No, it was a relief to have Vick there with me,” he continued. “She’s the mother of my children, and she will always mean something special to me.”

Julia waited with bated breath, a sense of dread filling her stomach. If this was the part where he told her he and Vicky were back together, she wasn’t sure how she would handle it. Being here with him, just like this, had brought back some of those same feelings she had been so surprised by before. The intensity of her affection for David Budd and the slight jealousy she felt at the mention of his wife were a familiar sension.

“But in that moment, even with Vicky standing next to me,” David began again. “All I could see was your face. And think about this moment. Of me finding out where you were and coming back for you. I wanted you to be proud of me… for pulling it all together, for being a better dad for my kids … and for getting the help I so desperately needed.”

David was looking down now, intensely studying the pattern on the sofa, picking at a stray thread that had come loose from the cushion. He tried to push his emotions down, to keep them from showing, but stopped himself as he remembered that was the exact opposite of what his time in therapy had taught him to do. 

“You’re seeing a therapist?” Julia asked, reaching for his face and pulling his chin up so he was looking at her again. “Because of me?”

“Aye,” David said softly. “I knew I needed help, that I needed to talk to someone,” he confessed. “But I was afraid to admit there was something wrong with me…. After what happened at the Blackwood that night … and then almost losing you… I wanted to be better for you, Julia.” 

His vision went blurry as he blinked back the tears. 

“My time in Helmand, it messed me up bad,” he continued. “But I just thought I could pretend it never happened. But when I was faced with the reality that I had truly hurt you, I knew I needed to do something. I know finding out I had teamed up with Anne blindsided you. But I also knew that I wanted to work on myself before I came back to you… That is, if you’ll have me.” 

David’s confession hit Julia hard as she stared at the man sitting in front of her, opening himself up fully to her in a way he never had before. 

“Of course I want you, David,” she chided softly. “It took me some time to get past my anger … at feeling like you and Anne had plotted and planned without me.”

“But I  _ did _ realize in time that you were right,” she admitted. “It was better for me to be off the radar while you figured everything out. I even got to read a few books that had been on my list for a while now!” She said, laughing. 

“I was just hurt and angry … and a little scared, too. You start to wonder how many more times you can avoid death when you survive two assassination attempts, you know. But that's no reason to take out my fear and anger on you. I'm sorry.” 

David gave her a sad smile. 

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I had a realization the other day, you know,” she said, her fingers coming to rest on his arm. “I’m always going to be in danger. Yes, Luke and Lorraine have been taken care of … but that’s just part of my job. I’ll always have a target on my back, but … if I play my cards right, I might always have someone there to protect me, too. Not just as my bodyguard either.” 

“I’ll always protect you, Julia,” he reassured her.

As they both looked at each other, they moved closer together, their lips meeting softly in the space between them. Moving her hand into his hair, Julia pulled David closer to her, deepening the kiss. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered against his lips and David gave a sound of agreement, never breaking their kiss as his fingers came to tangle in her hair.

As she reached for the buttons of his shirt, David placed his hand flat on top of hers. She thought she could feel his heart beat under her palm as it rested on his chest. 

“You’re sure?” David asked, reaching for a loose curl and tucking it behind her ear. She looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“Mhmmm,” she breathed, nodding slowly. “I’ve never been more sure.” 

Scooting closer to her on the couch, David touched his fingers lightly to her cheek. The cuts and scars he remembered on her face after the bombing had healed over nicely during their time apart and he smiled as he leaned forward, beginning to place gentle kisses across her face as she giggled softly. It was a sound he never got tired of. 

Her hand reached blindly for his shirt, returning to the buttons and undoing them slowly one by one. Pushing herself up onto her knees and straddling David carefully, Julia made a mental note to thank her physical therapist for pushing her to work so hard in her recovery. 

David slipped his hand under Julia’s sweater, running his fingers across the bare skin of her abdomen gently. Julia’s body shivered under his touch and David grinned, looking up at her with a knowing smile as he felt goosebumps appear on her skin. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he breathed, his other palm running across the denim that covered Julia’s thigh. 

“You won’t,” she reassured him, leaning forward to kiss him. “I’m alright. You’re alright. We’re alright,” she said, her lips barely brushing his. 

Reaching for the hem of the sweater, he pulled on it, sighing as Julia raised her arms above her head to help him. Tossing it onto the floor, he looked up at her, taking in her appearance for the first time in three months. He felt breathless as he stared at her. There was scarring on the side of her body where the bomb blast had hit her. 

“We match now,” Julia offered, suddenly feeling self-conscious and David frowned, his fingers ghosting over the scars on her shoulder and her chest. She looked away, glancing to the side and David frowned as he watched her begin to shut down. 

Putting his index finger under her chin, he turned her head to look at him again. 

“Those scars mean you’re strong, Julia. You’ve been through a lot, but you survived,” he offered, pushing her hair back behind her ear. Reaching around her body, he unclasped her bra in the back, watching as she shrugged it to the floor. He returned his attention back to the mottled skin and remembered how he had felt when he realized he would have to live with his scars forever. He leaned forward, placing soft open-mouth kisses on the angry pink patches of skin. 

“Those scars mean you’re alive, love,” he said between kisses and Julia sighed, closing her eyes. “They’re beautiful … you’re beautiful.” 

Julia could feel unshed tears beginning to pool in her eyes and closed them, leaning forward and kissing him again, moaning as he moved his lips in a downward path from her own. Finding that familiar spot on her neck she liked so much, he began to nuzzle her warming skin there, kissing and sucking lightly as his hands came to palm her breasts. 

Julia whimpered as his thumb brushed across a sensitive nipple, and his smiled against her neck at the sound. Her response had the desired effect as she felt him harden beneath her, the denim they were both wearing rubbing together and creating more friction. 

“Take your pants off,” David instructed, helping her get to her feet where she stood in front of him, looking down at him and biting her bottom lip as he -- despite his own instructions -- reached for the button of her jeans and began to undo the zipper slowly. 

Between the heat of the actual fire, and how hot her skin felt at his insistent touch, Julia wouldn’t have been surprised if she burst into flames at any given moment. She stepped out of her jeans as he pushed them down, letting them fall to the floor, leaving her standing there in nothing but a pair of burgundy lace knickers. 

Taking in the full sight of her, his gaze moving from head to toe, he felt his throat go dry. Taking her hand in his, he pulled her slowly down onto the sofa, kneeling next to her as she stretched out across it. 

Never breaking eye contact with her, he removed his sweater, tossing it onto the pile of clothes Julia had left behind. He could feel small beads of sweat begin to form on his brow, thought he wasn’t sure if it was the heat from the fire or the heat of the room that had him so worked up. 

Reaching for his undershirt and pulling it over his head, he grinned as he noticed Julia watching him with an appreciative smirk as he stripped. 

Adding a little bit of swaying into his movements, Julia let out a loud burst of laughter as he arched his brow suggestively. 

“Your pants, Sargeant,” she said lowly, her voice raspy as she watched his hands journey downward toward the button of his jeans. 

“These?” He asked, mock uncertainty in his voice and Julia rolled her eyes. 

“Just take them off,” David heard her say with a sigh of exasperation as her gaze returned to the muscles of his arms and chest. He looked even more fit now than he had before, which was saying a lot. And she felt her throat go dry as she imagined his hard, muscular body on top of her as he brought her to the brink of desire. 

He pushed the material of his pants down quickly, wincing as he brushed against his stiffened cock, now hot and flushed as it pressed painfully against the constraining material. 

As he stepped out of his trousers, he took a step closer to her, hesitating as he began to straddle her where she was stretched out on the sofa. One leg rested on one side of her body while she could see the uncertainty in his eyes. 

“You’re not going to break me, David,” she whispered, and he looked up at her bashfully and nodded. He knew she was right. But somewhere in the back of his mind, a reel played of all the times he  _ had _ hurt her. First that night at the Blackwood, when he had woken up with his hands clasped tightly around her neck and the second when he hadn’t detected the bomb at St. Matthew’s before her appearance there. 

He shook his head to clear it as she touched his face gently. 

“I’m alright,” she reassured him. “I want this. And I want you.” 

Her words were the permission David didn’t know he had been waiting for as he pulled her knickers down before he straddled her warm, willing body and kissed her, holding the weight of himself evenly above her, an arm on each side of her head. He felt her palm reach for him, pulling him free from his tight black boxers and grasping his hard cock loosely in her questing hand as she led him to her entrance. 

They both let out a sigh of pleasure as David pushed into her, feeling the warmth of her surrounding him like they had never been apart. 

He kissed her again as he began to thrust into her slowly, her body meeting his thrust for powerful thrust. Julia cried out a sound full of pleasure as she pulled him on top of her, enjoying the feel of his bare chest against her own. David thought he might lose it all when he felt her nails scratching across his back as she repeated his name like a litany, over and over again, as they each neared the brink of pleasure. 

Beginning to pound into her harder, David watched as Julia’s lips parted and her eyes slammed shut. He reached for her hand, interlacing his fingers in hers as he felt her body begin to tense and tremble under him. 

Continuing to thrust into her, David reaches down between them, finding her clit and rubbing it slowly in circles. As her body tensed, he placed more pressure on the nub within her, placing pressure there insistently. He felt the burn begin in the pit of his stomach and move slowly downward as he pressed his forehead against hers, feeling the room begin to spin

around him as a flash of white hot light took over his body, as he and Julia came simultaneously. 

After a few minutes of coming down from the high, David shifted them both so Julia lay on his chest, feeling his heart beat strong below her cheek. 

“You know, I used to be afraid of fire,” Julia admitted, her face never leaving the hard planes of David’s chest. 

“Of fire?” He repeated. 

“After the explosion … the idea of fire terrified me,” she said thoughtfully. Her finger came to absentmindedly twirl in the dark hair on his chest. “I wouldn’t go near it. The heat reminded me of that day.”

David listened quietly, not wanting to interrupt. 

“And then one day… I gathered my courage and I lit a fire. And it was all alright,” she said with a contented smile, moving so that her chin rested on his chest as she looked up at him with big eyes. “That’s kind of how I feel when I’m with you,” she admitted, looking up at David expectantly.

“Aye?” He asked uncertainly, still not sure where she was going with this.

“Just the idea of being with you scares me sometimes,” she told him honestly, her gaze never flinching. “My feelings are so strong for you that I don’t always know how to handle them. But then there are times … and I think about what I said to you on that day at St. Matthew’s …. when I just want you by my side. And nothing else could even possibly matter.” 

David softened at her sentiment, leaning forward and kissing her softly. Pulling her closer into his chest, he couldn’t help the smile that crossed his features.

“I choose you, Julia,” he answered without hesitation. “I will  _ always _ be on your side.”

“Mmmmm,” Julia said with a satisfied smile, her eyes beginning to drift closed. “Let’s go home, David.”

David smiled, recognizing the sleepiness in her voice. Before he could say anything in return, he felt the hot puffs of air on his chest from where she had quickly fallen asleep.

“I already am home, love,” her murmured in response, wrapping his arms around her and placing a kiss on her temple before he drifted off to sleep, too. He knew they had so much to talk about. And some of those conversations would be more pleasant than others, however, for the time being, David was just relieved to have Julia in his arms again.


End file.
